Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
