I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I think a kid would responsible me up
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
