doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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