You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
