I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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