yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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