Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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