So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
