is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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