So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
