I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
