put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
So many bounce houses so little time
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
