What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
