This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
