i don't like sucking hair
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
