Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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