I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize