My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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