listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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