Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize