Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
