I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize