i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
