I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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