Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
