We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize