my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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