You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
