i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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