i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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