Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
