I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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