"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
