The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
