he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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