is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
