is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
