and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I think people are normalizing furries
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
