I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
