Me too!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
