This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We left the knife in your bed.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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