This girl is more easily done than said...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
