I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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