and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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