Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
