i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
