she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize