me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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