at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
