I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Come see our sink grown plant.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
