no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
