bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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