Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
