Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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