PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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