she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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