After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
