Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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