Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
