Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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