all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
So apparently I’m into choking now
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
