apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
