how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
