i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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