Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize