why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Blood and glitter go together right?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
