Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
