Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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