If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
she told me i tasted like america
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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